I don’t do much actual work at work, I do a lot more of just thinking about ways to get out of work, and pondering whether I really need the job at all.
Because, you know, it sucks.
If you can answer yes to more than a few of these…well, then I would advise you to turn this into a drinking game.
Have You Ever…?
Hoped that you would get in a very minor car accident on the way to work so you could milk it for the entire day off?
Scheduled a 2 hour meeting in a conference room but only invited yourself?
Hidden in the restroom for over an hour simply because you’d rather be sitting there doing nothing than anything work-related?
Done literally zero actual work during an entire work day?
2 consecutive days?
4? (You win)
Blown off a scheduled one-on-one meeting with the president of your company without letting him know or attempting to reschedule? (I’m not that badass, I just forgot about it)
Seriously contemplated whether you would rather keep your job or be homeless?
Been asked to work on an existing project, not done a damn thing with it, turned it in a week later exactly the way you found it, and been praised for doing such a great job?
Planned a major life event 100% “on the clock”?
Secretly hoped to get fired so you’d have a legit excuse to take some time off to “find your true purpose” or some other abstract shit like that?
Overheard a coworker bragging about how they’ve been with the company for 20+ years, imagined yourself working there for 20+ years, and then immediately wanted to kill yourself?
To Be Continued