Never Have I Ever…

I don’t do much actual work at work, I do a lot more of just thinking about ways to get out of work, and pondering whether I really need the job at all.

Because, you know, it sucks.

If you can answer yes to more than a few of these…well, then I would advise you to turn this into a drinking game.

Have You Ever…?

Hoped that you would get in a very minor car accident on the way to work so you could milk it for the entire day off?

Scheduled a 2 hour meeting in a conference room but only invited yourself?

Hidden in the restroom for over an hour simply because you’d rather be sitting there doing nothing than anything work-related?

Done literally zero actual work during an entire work day?

2 consecutive days?

3?

4? (You win)

Blown off a scheduled one-on-one meeting with the president of your company without letting him know or attempting to reschedule? (I’m not that badass, I just forgot about it)

Seriously contemplated whether you would rather keep your job or be homeless?

Been asked to work on an existing project, not done a damn thing with it, turned it in a week later exactly the way you found it, and been praised for doing such a great job?

Planned a major life event 100% “on the clock”?

Secretly hoped to get fired so you’d have a legit excuse to take some time off to “find your true purpose” or some other abstract shit like that?

Overheard a coworker¬†bragging¬†about how they’ve been with the company for 20+ years, imagined yourself working there for 20+ years, and then immediately wanted to kill yourself?

To Be Continued

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